FROM THE DESK OF DR. MALEVOLENCE

Colleagues,

Frost Dial has turned—quite literally—sending a crisp, controlled chill across several regions that were previously complacent about seasonal change. The test run proved that temperature, when modulated properly, is an instrument of persuasion. Reports of “mysterious cold snaps,” “unseasonal rime,” and “the sky feeling stern” are already appearing. Excellent.

Remember: weather is merely an attitude made visible.

As we transition toward Brass Lantern, resist the temptation to feel festive. Nothing ruins psychological conditioning like premature cheerfulness.

— Dr. Malevolence

Presiding Architect of Discord & Newsletter Editor-in-Chief

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

“Cold clears the air. Light clears the mind. Both reveal what people try to hide.”

— Candelabra Vance

SPONSORED MESSAGE

From the creators of the Parapet Portable™ comes:

The Frostbloom Sconce™ — Atmospheric Ambience with Tactical Applications.

Designed to cast a cooling glow across any lair, command center, or disputed territory.

Features include:

• Adjustable frost halo

• Whisper-chill mode for intimidation

• Shatter-resistant crystalline housing

Elegance meets influence. Frostbloom Sconce™ — Let your light bite back.

VILLAIN OF THE WEEK:

CANDELABRA VANCE

A luminomancer of formidable poise, Candelabra Vance bends illumination into a tool of persuasion, intimidation, and—occasionally—interrogation. His light arrays can cast silhouettes that lie, shadows that reveal truths, and beams that isolate inconvenient details. He has been appointed artistic and tactical lead for Operation Brass Lantern, applying his philosophy: “Light is simply darkness wearing a tailored suit.”

CALL TO COHORTS

Brass Lantern requires additional support personnel:

• Illumination technicians unfazed by flickering shadows.

• Behavioral analysts who enjoy dramatic lighting.

• Assistants who can maintain composure while silhouettes behave independently.

Report to Sub-Level C, where the lighting is “intentional.”

TOP STORIES OF THE WEEK

Success: Codename Frost Dial (Primary Activation)

The synchronized inversion dropped temperatures with impressive subtlety. Entire forests awoke coated in elegant frost lace, while three coastal towns reported “a chill that seemed to know our names.” Energy grids strained, markets fluttered, and several meteorologists quietly resigned. Brinewolf Carrow’s humidity manipulation worked flawlessly, shaping mist into something between a warning and a caress.

Failure: Frost Dial Field Team Bravo

One calibration unit was installed upside down, producing a warm pocket directly beneath an otherwise flawless cold front. The resulting phenomenon—“the Cozy Anomaly”—attracted tourists, spiritual seekers, and a spontaneous pop-up market. The anomaly has been dispersed, and the team will attend remedial map orientation.

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TRAINING & DEVELOPMENT PLAN

Week of November 24–28, 2025

• Countess Mortane — Emotion Dampening for Seasonal Disruptions

• Lord Columnar — Spreadsheet Triage for Overextended Schemes

• General Mirthless — Managing Public Panic Without Encouraging It

• Foreman Clip — Emergency Icework Construction

• Professor Calamity — Avoiding Accidents You Fully Intended

Participants must bring gloves, mental resilience, and two sharpened pencils.

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CAFETERIA SPECIALS (Nov 17–21)

Monday: Chilled grain porridge with frostberry garnish.

Tuesday: Roasted marrow wrapped in ice leaf.

Wednesday: Winter root stew, emits faint cold steam.

Thursday: Blackened fowl with crisp snow herb crust.

Friday: Frost crystallé tart—handle with gloves.

LAB UPDATES

Lab 4: Etiquette Jammer used on a town hall meeting; attendees now bow before raising objections.

Lab 6: Sentient Clipboard produced its first piece of unsolicited poetry. It was promptly confiscated.

Lab 8: Metronome Gauntlet synced with Frost Dial waveforms; users marched involuntarily but stylishly.

Lab 10: Concertina Cannon created crystalline ice patterns on nearby surfaces—unexpectedly popular with staff.

Lab 12: Compliment Grenade Mk. VIII now includes seasonal greetings; testing ongoing.

Lab 18: Elastic Reality Net stiffened during Frost Dial’s peak, bouncing a technician gently but forcefully.

Lab 44: Acoustical Curtain trapped a cold gust for later replay; advisory labels added.

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UPCOMING SCHEMES

Operation Brass Lantern (Nov 28): Light-based psychological influence ready for full deployment.

Codename Amber Ren (Dec 5): Swarm choreography entering rehearsal.

Operation Glass March (Dec 12): Sonic shattering maneuver in strategic urban zones.

Project Dustmantle (Continuing): Archive infiltration approaching “misfiling apex.”

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WRY WIT OF THE WEEK

“Cold fronts are just warm fronts with higher standards.”

CLOSING REMARKS FROM DR. MALEVOLENCE

Frost Dial has shown what climate can achieve when guided by ambition rather than mercy. As Brass Lantern approaches, let us keep our composure steady, our lighting deliberate, and our momentum sharp.

Proceed, with a chill in your step.

— Dr. Malevolence

Editor-in-Chief, Engineer of Awkward Timings, Keeper of the Brass Keys

WORLD DOMINATION WEEKLY

Internal Distribution Only — Unauthorized reproduction will be… discouraged. This edition will self destruct in one week.

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This newsletter was generated from alternate timelines using the PROPRIETARY PREDICTIVE ALGORITHM™

Proprietary Predictive Algorithm™ is a proprietary technology developed by VILLAIN STANDARD and is protected by copyright law.

✶ VIVAT IMAGO SONUS ✶
(“Long live the image of sound.”)(“Long live the image of sound.”)(“Long live the image of sound.”)(“Long live the image of sound.”)

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(((sounds)))