FROM THE DESK OF DR. MALEVOLENCE

Colleagues,

Operation Brass Lantern has illuminated minds in precisely the wrong ways—our favorite outcome. The public spent three consecutive nights reporting “shadows that disclosed opinions,” “streetlights that judged them,” and “a feeling of being watched by something well-groomed.” All indicators point to a successful deployment.

With the Lantern’s glow receding, we turn toward Codename Amber Ren. Swarm choreography requires discipline, grace, and a tolerance for mild stings. Do not approach the swarm without approved hand signals or a composure rating above 7.

The season may encourage togetherness, but remember: our objectives thrive in solitude, misdirection, and strong internal lighting.

— Dr. Malevolence

Presiding Architect of Discord & Newsletter Editor-in-Chief

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

“A swarm is not chaos—it is choreography performed by a thousand tiny critics.”

— Stingmarion Kestrel

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VILLAIN OF THE WEEK:

STINGMARION KESTREL

A specialist in bio-synchronized swarmcraft, Stingmarion Kestrel controls micro-chitin formations through a combination of pheromantic pulses and impeccable posture. She has choreographed flocks, hives, and the occasional rebellious wasp into tactical units capable of forming messages, barriers, or unsettling tableaus.

Her leadership in Codename Amber Ren is crucial; she reminds us that elegance and danger share a thorax.

CALL TO COHORTS

Amber Ren requires additional support:

• Swarm attendants with steady movement habits.

• Pheromonic technicians who can maintain composure during buzzing.

• Volunteers with minimal allergic reactions and maximum loyalty.

Sign-up sheets fluttering ominously in Sub-Level D.

TOP STORIES OF THE WEEK

Success: Operation Brass Lantern (Full Deployment)

Candelabra Vance’s luminant arrays performed flawlessly, casting silhouettes that whispered, contradicted, and occasionally filed complaints. In targeted districts, ambient anxiety rose by a healthy 14%, and one metropolitan center voted to “temporarily outlaw sudden illumination.” The Lantern achieved its aim: civic confusion delivered by tastefully curated light.

Failure: Brass Lantern Afterglow Management

An unexpected optical echo caused an alleyway in Sector Twelve to retain a permanent faint shimmer. Residents now walk through it in hopes of achieving epiphanies. While technically harmless, this has produced a line. The area is cordoned off until further research determines whether the shimmer is metaphoric or structural.

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TRAINING & DEVELOPMENT PLAN

Week of December 8–12, 2025

• General Mirthless — Maintaining Deadpan in Adverse Illumination

• Candelabra Vance — Silhouette Discipline & Reflective Weaponry

• Countess Mortane — Suppressing Unwanted Warmth (Social and Thermal)

• Foreman Clip — Swarm-Proof Structural Reinforcement

• Brinewolf Carrow — Humidity Manipulation for Midwinter Maneuvers

Attendance requires protective eyewear and an unflappable demeanor.

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CAFETERIA SPECIALS (Dec 08–12)

Monday: Ash-braised tubers with winter smoke infusion.

Tuesday: Blackened marrow loaf under chilled glaze.

Wednesday: Frosted grain bowl, emits soft crackling.

Thursday: Slow-burn fowl with ember-spice crust.

Friday: Hive-slip pudding—texture variable, flavor decisive.

LAB UPDATES

Lab 4: Etiquette Jammer caused a mayor to apologize repeatedly to a lamppost. Effects deemed “promising.”

Lab 6: Sentient Clipboard now correcting grammar. Staff morale mixed.

Lab 8: Metronome Gauntlet produced a rhythmic vibration that synchronized entire corridors; unintended but oddly pleasant.

Lab 10: Concertina Cannon, when fired in Lantern residue zones, produced spectral ribbons. Labeling updated to “Do Not Admire During Operation.”

Lab 12: Compliment Grenade Mk. IX tested successfully; subjects reported feeling “seen but not safe.”

Lab 18: Elastic Reality Net resisted Folding Sequence B, indicating growing self-awareness. Continue caution.

Lab 44: Acoustical Curtain is absorbing more sound than expected, including muffled thoughts. Technicians advised to think quietly.

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UPCOMING SCHEMES

Codename Amber Ren (Dec 12): Swarm choreography test flight. Avoid strong perfumes.

Operation Glass March (Dec 19): Resonant shatter grid to be installed in designated urban sectors.

Project Dustmantle (Continuing): Archive infiltration now “deeply misfiled.”

Operation Stillwater Crown (Jan 2): Preparations begin for calm-surface manipulation trials.

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WRY WIT OF THE WEEK

“Never trust a shadow that arrives before you do.”

CLOSING REMARKS FROM DR. MALEVOLENCE

Brass Lantern has dimmed, but its shadows remain obedient. As Amber Ren stirs its wings, remember: influence is not seized—it swarms.

Proceed, with precision and quiet menace.

— Dr. Malevolence

Editor-in-Chief, Engineer of Awkward Timings, Keeper of the Brass Keys

WORLD DOMINATION WEEKLY

Internal Distribution Only — Unauthorized reproduction will be… discouraged. This edition will self destruct in one week.

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This newsletter was generated from alternate timelines using the PROPRIETARY PREDICTIVE ALGORITHM™

Proprietary Predictive Algorithm™ is a proprietary technology developed by VILLAIN STANDARD and is protected by copyright law.